Love

I am feeling a bit sentimental after a few weeks in Europe. I returned a few days ago from a little trek across Spain and Portugal where I visited family and old friends. The trip made me reflect on my, role as a father, career, family and mostly what love is to this 43 year old man traveling his path on earth.

I guess if I was to tell someone about my life today, I would do it in a way that would make them think me a brave, noble, happy and independent man. But that would be a load of shit because to be all those things I would need to know, give and feel more love than I now do. Even saying the word make me feel a little strange, even when I know deep inside that's all that really matters at the end of the day.

All of my life, my romantic notions made me think love was a kind of voluntary enslavement. Well... that's a freaking big ass lie, because, freedom only exists when love is there to support it. The one that gives him or herself over entirely to their lover is the winner and the freest. And the man or woman who finds it within them to love fully, feels free.

Regardless of what I experience, do or learn... not a damned thing makes sense sometimes. I hope this time I am going through passes soon, or my sentiments may just drive me over the edge. I need to resume my search for who I am... in the form of a woman who understands me and does not make me suffer.

Jeeze, what the hell am I writing? When in love, no one can harm anyone else, we are all responsible for our own feelings and can not blame someone else for what we feel.

It hurt like hell as I lost each of the various women I fell in love with thus far in my life. However I am now convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone!

And this I think is the true experience of FREEDOM: having the most important thing in the world (LOVE) without owning it...

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will finally know peace." ~ Jimi Hendrix